Exploding with thoughts...

First, we have a paper factory in the area and it smells like ass. The whole building at work smells terrible. Whenever the wind shifts, we get the pleasure of smelling it. While I am talking about smells, there is a corn syrup plant near my house and it smells like Alpo...burnt Alpo. Why can't we have crisp, clean-smelling air?

Second, whoever made the toilet paper that we have a work should be shot. It appears to be 2-ply and one side has what looks like braile. It frickin' hurts if you forget to flip to the other side. I am considering filing a grievance :D

Third, is anyone out there a Flybaby? If you are, are you actually flying? I want to get back into it tomorrow. I mean....actually reading the emails (instead of deleting them) and following my schedule. The only thing that I am having trouble with is that I work 3rd shift. Marla, dear, you need to come up with an altered plan of attack for us night owls. I don't think my husband would appreciate me vacuuming at midnight.

Fourth, DUDE...that toilet paper really hurts....oh yeah...I already mentioned that.

Fifth, I am fat! "Hello, my name is Melanie and I LOVE to eat!" I ordered my Blend Gear and am going to make a concerted effort to get back to the gym. Julie said that if you say you can't do something, then you really didn't want to. Well, now it is time to JUST DO IT. As long as IT is something, I don't care what IT is.

Well, that's about it for now. Get off your ass and go do something productive! :)

We've got a bleeder...

Yeppers, we have a hematoma! Since my tranquilized pup can manage to "will" himself to not be sleepy and still run around like a hooligan, he managed to bruise his sac. He is back on more antibiotics so his now-empty sac doesn't rot off AND we have more tranquilizers...he gets two at a time this time around. I will have to get a picture because he looks paaaathetic. His eyes get so droopy and then he just kind of falls over. He just cannot appreciate the fact that dopey is good. The vet wanted us to lock him in his kennel with the "satellite dish" around his neck. Those things are just mean....watching him bonk his way around the house....trying to get water when his face can't reach the water. I am back on the air mattress to keep a watchful eye on him. Needless to say, I am not getting a restful sleep. Every time he moves, I wake up. It's like having a newborn. I know the vet is trying to blame this on me but I wasn't having it. "His stitches are out." "How can that be? They are internal and then he is glued." "Oh. He must be licking back here (his butt.....my dog does NOT lick his butt...his lipstick maybe...but definitely not his butt) because it is not healing like it should. It is puckering." (Yeah, my butt would pucker too if you were poking around it!) "Well, when we were in here last time, they said it was healing nicely. He had been scootching on the carpet because I have been picking wads of carpet out of his butt." (Duh, don't you read my Blog?????)

Testes, Testes 1, 2, 3

Good gravy....I think we have another testicle. As Hunter was lying on his back, I noticed that his scrotal sac has......ummmmmmm......grown. It looks like when you are filling up a balloon with water. You know, how it stretches and hangs but then is bulbous at the bottom. So, guess what? We get to go BACK to the vet this afternoon. It is obviously engorged with fluid and it feels like there is another testicle in there. I kid you not. Leave it up to my little Spaz. We think he may be a sadist......he must love having his sac poked with needles.

Because Troy is feeling guilty...

I moved my watchful eyes down. It does look like I am staring at you, huh? Trippy!

Hunter is doing very well. Matter of fact, his frickin' tranquilizers barely keep him calm. Okay, Troy, hide your eyes......We had to take him back to the vet because the skin glue came undone on his marble sack. He had stitches on the subcutaneous layer and glue on the outside area. It looked like a cut in a steak. No oozing, just pink and cauterized looking. Anyway, they gave him a topical analgesic, threw in a couple more stitches, and glued the rest. He's such a spaz that I had a visual of his scrotum glued to the table. Yeah, I can laugh now. I was an absolute wreck. He is doing everything that he is not supposed to do...except for biting at the affected areas. He does scootch his butt across the carpet and I have picked carpet wads off of his anal region. Yippee.

David and I are trying a different form of discipline. He told me that I can no longer tell the pups that they are bad. Apparently, children cannot be told that they are bad or being bad. Their behavior is "unacceptable." Bahahahahahahaha. I'm not sure what Dr. Spock book he has been reading but it has been quite humorous lately.

Speaking of books, I have been reading "Are You Hungry, Dear? Life, Laughs, and Lasagna" by Doris Roberts (Everybody Loves Raymond). It is really good. She is very funny.

Lynn, this one's for you!

Don't hate me 'cause my lashes got length! Oh, yeah, I love this mascara. I hope you can see them well. If I blink, I may get mascara on my lips! Thank you, Lynn, for the recommendation. While we are recommending beauty products, you all have to try the Neutrogena Dermabrasion kit. It is waaaaaaaaay cool. My face feels incredibly soft. Okay, it's somebody else's turn.

BTW, Hunter is in recovery right now. He did very well with his surgery and we will probably be picking him up around 4 or 5. Thank goodness!

Puppies Go to the Groomer

Oh, don't they look pretty? They smell pretty too! I love my babies. Do you know how hard it is to get two hyper dogs to sit still, together, to take a pic?













Hunter is having his adenoma removed and marble sack snipped on Monday so we had to have him groomed.....you know, so he'll feel better about himself afterwards. Mommy is scared to death about the surgery. Daddy said that everything will be fine. He'd better be right. Please think of him on Monday. The pups love going to see Gloria (their groomer). I think Hunter has a crush on her. He talks A LOT to her. Hope everyone is having a great day.

Time....where does it go?

How many times have you asked yourself "Didn't I just do that?" or "Where did the day go?" I continually ask myself these questions. I knew that it had been a while since I last spoke with my dad but I didn't realize how long it had been until he pointed out the actual date. It's been too long. My mom is always saying "You never call anymore." I always respond with "I just spoke with you last week." I'll even look at my blog and realize that it's been over a week since I posted. Well, apparently, my perception of time is off. I know that I am not the only one who goes through this but I think that depression/stress adds a lot to it. You can go through the daily motions...ie., go to work, eat, sleep (sleep some more)...yet never really appreciate the amount of time that has passed. We have managed to close ourselves off from the rest of the world. This is unacceptable behavior. We want to reclaim our lives. I am still praying for a miracle.

Oh, yeah, to top it off....if you haven't heard.....I feel like POO. Somebody gave me some ICK and I would totally appreciate it if they would keep that crap to themselves. I am a germaphobe...not as bad as Howie Mandel....but pretty close. It first started out as a sore throat (the kind you get from sinus drainage) but it wouldn't go away. I took some cold pills and I felt fine. I went to work, came home, went to bed, and woke up after 4 hours feeling like dog crap....which I can only imagine is bad because it smells so retched. The ICK was in my lungs and I was wheezing chunky breaths. Woo hoo. I've got instantaneous pneumonia! No, not really...but, it sounded good. I went to see the doctor and the doctor said..."no more monkeys jumping on the bed." Okay, I am feeling a little better. Ooops ADD again. Anyhoo, he thinks I have an upper respiratory infection that it will get worse before it gets better (Bonus!) but that it's viral and it will have to ride itself out. BUT, he proceeded to write me a prescription for Amoxicillin for anything bacterial. Dig this....2-500 mg capsules twice a day. That's 2,000 mg (for my mathematically-challenged friends) a day. What the hell does he think I may have or could get????? I think that could take down a horse. I have never taken that much before (that I can recall anyway). Oh well. As long is the ICK vacates my body and does not leave me with a UTI, I will be good to go.

I have noticed that a lot, okay....ALL, of my blends are doing well with diet and exercise. I applaud you. I promise to eventually catch up.