100% Bitching (Completely Uncensored)

Okay, I am going to let loose. This is not a "blowing sunshine up your ass" kind of post. If you want positive vibes, I apologize but you will have to go somewhere else today. This appeared to work for K, Bev, Lisa, Jess, Christie, and many others so here goes......


I am tired. I am tired of trying to be everything that everyone wants me to be. Everyone is proud of me and I appreciate that. I AM a hard worker, a good wife, a good mommy to the pups, and a caring person. I pray for everyone else before I pray for myself. But....and this is where it gets really good.....I have been FUCKED. I have been fucked without even a please or thank you. I have been robbed of my own identity. I finally found the one thing that really meant something to me and it was taken away. I worked my ass off to become a firefighter and paramedic. My patients and their families always came first. I didn't have a hidden agenda. I didn't want an administrative position. I didn't want to be a Lieutenant or a Battalion Chief. I just wanted to be. I didn't play into the political bullshit and I got fired. I was accused of doing something that....to this day.....I don't remember doing and there isn't any proof that I did it except for someone saying that I did it. I...being the naive dumbass that I am....accepted responsibility for it though because why would someone lie? Guess what? I don't remember a lot of things anymore. I am so stressed beyond my wildest imagination that it's no fucking wonder I forget shit.

By the grace of God, I got rehired at a former place of employment. They know that I am not a boob and hired me in spite of being fired. I work really hard. I am faced with some of the same obstacles as before. Realization: I don't work well with others. I can be a part of a team just fine as long as the TEAM has the same goals as the organization. I have worked with so many people that just don't care. They are either there for the money or as a stepping stone. Maybe it is an age thing....I don't know.

I have been the only person bringing in a paycheck for quite a while. Unemployment is outrageous in Ohio. I wish that someone would just fucking hire my husband already.......please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I took a major pay cut when I got hired at my current employer. We are so in debt up to our eyeballs that I am just sick, sick, sick.

Politics: Bush needs to resign or get impeached.....he's fucking us. I wholly support our troops but why are they over there.....REALLY? The reason I bring this up is because there was a documentary on the other night that just didn't sit well with me. You know...while I am bitching I might as well get this off of my chest too. Are we strategically placing ourselves to acquire oil? If so, that's bullshit. That makes us no better than the others. We would be thieves. Again.....why must people use others for their own personal agendas.

Okay, now the dreaded Tracker/Body for Life Challenge. Good gravy (btw, pass me some of that)!!! I will tell you who I voted for and why. I voted for Lori Rickett. She is a police officer and to have that schedule and accomplish what she has. Just look at her. She looks fantastic. After dealing with the crap that she does on a daily basis and still maintain a positive outlook....wow. Jobs like that "harden" you. I know it from experience. I am sorry that the others have suffered personal tragedies. I have seen a lot in my lifetime and some of their stories pale in comparison. I want a Champion that is someone real.....that isn't using personal strife to gain something. That's sick and it's sad.

I am sure that I have more to bitch about but if you made it this far, thank you for reading. Your co-pay for the therapy is in the mail.